"Did you write this? Odhner asked. I immediately ripped the book out of his grasp, and he shrank back a little, surprised at my strength. I couldn't believe that he of all people had gotten his hands on my hidden script...
Odhner had been acting from a young age and was already doing quite well for himseld. I, too, had longed for the stage since I was a child, but ended up working at my parents' candle shop instead. Even so, I hadn't been able to give up on writing, and it became my secret past time
I hadn't shown my scripts to anyone, though, afraid that thier response would confirm just how talentless I was. I screwed my eyes shut in embarrassment, preparing myself for his ridicule of my silly script, but...
"Would you mind if I performed this?" he asked. I let out a strange gasp, completely caught off guard. "It'd be a shame not to. Why don't we show it off at the next Festival of Grace?" Though taken aback by the proposal, I was overjoyed to know that someone appreciated my writing. I nodded in agreement and decided to make it a performance to remember. Despite it being Odhner's idea, I realized that I was even more excited than he was. I even began composing musical scores for the show.
"l love you, Mary." Those words caused my heart to race and my hands on the harp to stop. "What's wrong?" Odhner asked as he peered into my face with concern. I realized that he no longer looked like that brat who had tormented me with insects in our youth.Still, I knew that the words he spoke were not his own. I had been the one to write them, after all.
Half a month before the Festival of Grace, his performance was all but perfect. I couldn't help but wonder when he found the time to practice after his normal work was through. l, on the other hand, was struggling to think of a fitting ending to the script and worked late into the night. Unable to ignore mg struggles, Odhner pulled me away from my desk and whisked me away into town late at night.
"The gods are all ours right now," he told me as we snuck into an empty church. Not long after, I was struck by inspiration, perhaps by the grace of the Sacred Flame. Odhner watched quietly as word upon word flowed from the tip of my pen.
By the time I was finished, dawn was breaking. As Odhner read my script, his face was more serious than ever, and my heart pounded in my chest, though not out of nervousness... Once he finished, he smiled softly. "Will you marry me?" he asked, and I let out another strange gasp. Had I written that line? No... This time, those words were Odhner's own. His proposals always had a way of bringing me unrivaled joy.
My heart warmed at the sight of his smile and the thought of performing the script we had written together. How I wished that happiness would last us a lifetime...
Alas, I watched as the clerics carried his casket and sobs filled the air around me. I laid him to rest with our script and his beloved yellow flowers. No, I thought to myself, this wasn't the ending I had envisioned.
The day after finishing the script, I woke up to find my love cold beside me. According to the apothecary, Odhnerl's heart had failed him. I wondered if work was to blame. Why hadn't I noticed!? I killed him. I pushed him too hard. It was all my fault, all my fault...! Unable to bear the guilt, I pushed his death from my mind and carried on as usual. But whenever I remembered my beloved, I clenched my jaw so hard I thought my teeth would break.
One day, I found myself in front of a church—the same place Odhner and I swore our love to each other—and a single cleric came to speak with me. "Sadness is something that builds up inside us. Holding it all in will do nothing but destroy you," she told me. "Please, let it out. You don't need to endure it any longer."
Moved by her warmth, I spoke of everything that I had buried deep inside of me. She listened to every word and, at the end, embraced me gently. All of mg guilt and sadness were washed away by her kindness.
Then one day, my feelings for Odhner disappeared, and all that was left was her.
One day, I saw her with another woman and feared that she would leave me... Knowing I had to secure my place in her world, I told her that I would do whatever she asked of me. She smiled gently in response and said, "l want you to find the blue flames, wherever they may be in this world."
I left on my journey soon thereafter. My parents cried and tried to stop me, but I pushed them away. Unfortunately, I barely knew the area outside of my own home, let alone the whole world... Not long after, I met with a traveling troupe. They claimed to be bringing smiles to every corner of the realm, so I joined them, and the search began.
That's how I found it. The blue flame she was looking for. It was on an isle at the edge of theworld. I could only imagine how pleased she'd be. I was sure she would let me stag at her side. Oh, how I adore Sister Mindt...
"l love you, Tanzu," she said. Her warm voice and words reverberated in my head. She then handed me an old tome called the Book of Night and recommended that I read it, so I did right then and there.
It was a story of a people who did not long to see the dawn. I'd never read such an incredible tale before. As I looked up from its pages, she smiled at me.
I realized that there was no greater happiness to be had than reading a wonderful book and seeing Sister Mindt's smile. In my mind, no brighter dawn awaited.
Yes... I have no need for the dawn. It can all end here and now...
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